Day 47: Wild Child

Today was a fan-freaking-tastic day! I had my doubts when my alarm clock went off this morning at 3:30 am, but I’m glad I woke up alive today. Maybe my new minty soap set the tone for today, I felt so awake and alert after my shower, almost like I had gotten enough sleep. While my hair drying didn’t quite go as good as I wanted, I left the house early enough to drop an envelope off for my mom and still make it to work 10 minutes early!

I don’t know what made today feel great, but it went quickly, I laughed a bunch, and I enjoyed the company of some (only some) of my coworkers. I snacked on schedule, though not the new one I was going to attempt. By the time 7 am rolled around my stomach was ready for food, so I held off as long as I could, which was only 30 minutes trying in vain to switch to eating every 3 hours…oh well, maybe if I just start adding 10 or so minutes at a time it won’t feel like I’m starving myself to get on the new schedule.

It’s very rare that I take my own advice, I’m like Alice in that regard and in the regard that I like to chase rabits. I had serious trepidation about going to zumba today. As a large girl I demand attention and I hate to be the center of attention. I knew that by rejoining the class there would be people who didn’t remember me and would come over to welcome me, which is nice, but also terrifying to an introvert. I was also worried about whether or not I could make it through the entire class without passing out, throwing up, or dying, but miraculously none of those things happened. Sure I was dripping sweat, out of breath, probably red in the face, but I survived feeling very foolish.

Another source of anxiety was that I knew I would not be familiar with any of the routines, but would be surrounded by women who were. I always boast having rhythm, but I lose it all when I’m trying g to figure out what the hell everyone else is doing. It takes me what feels like forever to finally get the hang of some moves and just when I feel like I’m on solid ground they pull the rug out and switch to something else I’ve never seen before. It is frustrating. But again, I survived. Tomorrow I may be sore and cursing as I roll out of bed, but I went and that is what really matters to me. I can do it. It’s hard, but not impossible.

Now I’m laying in my bed and I getting ready to start all over again tomorrow. I have an overwhelming sense of pride, so if you’re reading this and you’re too self-consciousness to do something you’ve been wanting to do, take this one piece of advice that it took my weeks to follow, just go fucking do it. You may look dumb, but hey you’ll be able to say that you did something. So go out my little wild children and live your life the way you want too, regardless of what anyone else might think. Be who you were meant to be.

Caloric intake: 2,047
Calories burned: *drum roll please* 1,050!!!!

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!
Chels aka The Crazy Dame


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