Day 90: Habits

Thank you. It’s really important that I start today’s blog by saying thank you, whomever you might be taking time out of your day to listen to my ramblings. I really appreciate ever single like and follow I receive. So from the bottom of my black little heart, thank you. Also, I’m sorry.

Another semi crushing dissapointment occurred in the wee hours of my night. I finally received the leggings I ordered from lotus and upon opening them I felt defeated.  They were so fucking tiny looking, I looked at my sister (they were delivered to her house because I’m an idiot), and lamented that they were not going to fit me. She pointed out that they looked very sheer. Although they looked teeny tiny next to me I still wiggled my massive body into them and had mild success. The plain black ones I bought fit, though are entirely too transparent to wear without something over them and the printed ones were super tight, but not uncomfortable however, the printed ones did not survive my ass. I bent to straighten the ankles and head a very loud seam popping, checked and didn’t feel a hole so I thought, oh goodness that was close, and fucking bent over again only to hear another soul crushing pop. I shimmied out of them quickly and checked for holes, there was one forming in the buttocks. Thanks ass for ruining a pair of tights that I could have just given away to either my sister or friend.

I bought these leggins because I really need a few more pairs of bottoms for zumba and eventually when I’m ready to show my face in a gym I’ll need clothes, that didn’t work out so well. I’ll probably wear the black ones with a pair of shorts over them to zumba, but the printed ones are going in my fabric bin and hopefully to hell. Won’t be ordering from lotus again unless I’m buying for someone else, I will not trust their size chart with my ass again.

Per usual my first day off was spent cleaning my house. I seriously don’t know how these darn dogs manage to bring this much sand into the house in only 4 days, but every time I sweep it’s the same I end up with a pound of sand.

Taking the dogs to bed with me last night turned out to be a very good idea or a very bad idea depending on how you look at the situation. They woke me up at around 5 am and because they did so by trampling all over me, I swear they think they are buffalo, I was wide awake. After letting them out of my bedroom I snuggled back under my covers only to moments later lament that I was not going to be able to fall back asleep and climb back out of bed.

The good obviously being that I was able to squeeze more out my morning, the bad of course that I seriously would have liked to sleep in longer. Oh well, because of those little obnoxious darlings I finished distressing my table as well as the stools, waxed everything, did a load of laundry, and started the dishwasher. It’s currently about 9 am give or take a few minutes; my clothes are already in the dryer and I need to go ahead and load up the dish washer again. A snack is also in order, my smoothie was delicious but, I finished it over 2 hours ago so my tummy is begging for solid food. Hitting up the fruit!

Oh my goodness I am so excited!!!! I just mixed up some paint, don’t ask me what is in this mix because I was desperate and not even trying to remember, and started painting my dresser/TV Stand and let me tell you it looks great!

Currently I’m sitting under the dryer letting my roots cook, but before I had to leave for the salon I managed to get one coat of paint on the dresser. If it’s not time to go to zumba just yet when I’m done I’ll slap the second coat on, I don’t think this particular project is going to require more than 2 coats. Maybe if I’m not dragging as after zumba I’ll start on the drawers. If I manage to get all that done this evening my new t. Stand could be ready to move in tomorrow!! Oh happy day! Oh happy day! (Singing in my head)

I’ve been helping a friend with decorations for her grandmother’s surprise party and she’s planning on stopping by later to see what still needs to be done. Just realized that this is the last set of days I have off before my Dallas trip, so I HAVE to get all my projects done and moved in before I go back to work on Sunday.

My hair appointment was a success, tomorrow after volleyball I shower, skim conditioner, let my hair air dry and then we will be ready to go purple! Whoop.

I’m tired folks. It feels like a ton was accomplished today, but looking around at my messy as house, half done dresser, and the various boxes still piled up in the living room it looks like I did nothing. Here’s to another productive day.

Caloric intake: 2,517
Calories burned: 1,014

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!


Day 89: Roots

Let me start by telling you that my face felt amazing last night and even better this morning. I’m feeling a little oily now, but that’s partially because like I mentioned I’m out of toner and prone to be an grease monkey.

I’m free of work for another 4 days!!

I’ve got an appointment to have my hair done tomorrow, thank goodness because my roots are getting a little out of control. Let me tell you that having bleach blonde hair when you’re naturally a brunette is the pits when your roots grow out. I just washed my hair last night and my roots look super greasy just because of the contrast in color. I was planning on having purple put throughout, but now I think I’m just going to have her do the regular lightening all over and then I’ll come home and dye it purple myself.

I’m cooking dinner for myself, my brother just left, which means I get to have all the bacon wrapped jalapeños to myself! That’s right, I said bacon wrapped jalapeños. If I could just eat them everyday I would, but of course that would be detrimental to my health, so I have them at least once a month. I’m also making fish and potatoes.


Doesn’t it look so yummy? I promise it was ridiculously delicious.  The dogs are trying to make me feel guilty for not sharing, but I feel no guilt today. Ok, maybe just a little bit. There little faces are just so cute. 😦

Tomorrow morning I’ll be distressing my stool and table, waxing, and staining the top. Hopefully we’ll finish everything before it gets too late and I’ll be able to get some good photos. Last night I had the insane thought of asking a friend of my brother’s, she’s a model, to follow me out and take some really cool and fun photos with my table, but that seems a little strange. Right? Eh.

Once the table is done we will move on to the dresser that were transforming into a TV stand. I was contemplating doing another ombre thing, but with a turquoise or minty color. I think it would look really cool on both the dresser and movie shelf.

Now that dinner is done, I’m going to go into a food coma for a bit with a face mask on. I’m sure the dogs won’t want to cuddle with me, but I’m going to make them. Haha.

Busy days ahead friends.

Caloric intake: 2,156
Calories burned: not a fucking one

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Day 88: Playing Hooky

So I skipped Zumba today. By the time I got off work I was starving and my back was killing me, so with my enabling side kick in tow we chose to get dinner instead. It was delicious.

There were packages waiting in my mail box. I love getting mail. I’ve been waiting for my facial tonic (it’s just a fancy toner) to come because I ran out the other day, but unfortunately it still has not made it here. However, I did receive a facial mask (I’ve got it on right. The dogs are giving me odd looks) and a new phone case. The face mask is from the Etsy store ollieandmaxsoapco, I’ve ordered a bar of facial soap and cleanser from them in the past that I loved, so I figured I’d give the mask a try. The one I’m testing is the Organic Detox, Activated Charcoal blah blah blah for oily skin (it’s seriously a really long title, but if you want more details I’ll give them out. So far all I can say is that this particular mask smells like vodka…real helpful I know, but tomorrow I’ll give you a short update.

The phone case is nothing really special and since I received a different one sooner I probably won’t even put it on my phone for a couple of weeks…I went a little overboard ordering phone cases. I’ve already received 2 and I’m still waiting on 1 more that I’m super excited about! When it arrives I’ll show you.

Very little progress was made on the pile of crap (I actually very quickly skimmed this post for mistakes and my stupid auto correct tried to censure me and change crap to cap. WTH?) waiting on my desk. All that I managed to do was arrange it into smaller piles, organize said piles on my bookshelf, and enter in one set of tickets. By the time I was done with that it was snack time and I got to reading and the rest is history.

That history of course being that I got some actual writing done! I thought I wasn’t going to have anything to report, but I managed to bang out an entire new chapter as well as add in some juicy bits that I think really make it special. I found myself smiling as I wrote and I hope that if I ever get published that my work will make someone smile.

Does this blog make you smile? I’d wager no. I’m sure I’m not nearly as funny as I think I am and if you are smiling it’s probably when you run across a mistake I’ve made because I don’t fucking proofread before posting.

Tomorrow is my Friday! As of right now the only plans we’ve got are to finish my table, get a comprehensive blog post written on how I did my table, get some paint on the new TV stand, move everyrhing back to storage, and relax with the babies. They’re the best relaxers I know, so that should be easy enough. No matter what else happens we are going to get my damn TV stand as close to ready for move in as possible. I’ve realized that once it’s ready to be moved in I’m going to have to do a little furniture rearranging because I have a very large movie shelf in my living that currently resides next to my TV stand. The new piece is much longer that the one I’ve got now, so I have to find a new home for the shelf. Oh well, it’s time for another bought of deep cleaning anyway and it will prompt me to get my ass in gear about moving all the stuff back to storage.

Okay folks, it’s time for me to wash this gunk off my face and then I should probably get to bed. It’s going to be a long one tomorrow I can already feel it. Night!

Caloric intake: 2,052
Calories burned: does moving my fork to my mouth burn calories?

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Day 87: Yellow

My day went by without any real lulls, though I accomplished very little. After yesterday’s writing session I had hoped today it would be just as easy, it was not. Even though inspiration was lacking I did make myself get the few ideas that came to me yesterday on paper.

I’m contemplating coming up with a schedule for posts in the future, I feel like there are so many days where I’m barely writing anything at all here and I should be doing a bit more. I was considering making each day have its own theme/topic. Maybe for example we do Pintrest Mondays, every Monday I’ll attempt some pin I’ve found on pintrest and of course show you how it goes and give you tips for doing it yourself. Further down the line maybe you could submit a request for specific pins? Recipe Tuesdays where we explore the culinary world together from my little kitchen. Stuff like that. Would that be something you would be interested in reading? Are you even reading this now?

I often feel like I’m just talking to no one. Since my following is so low I guess it will be my decision whether or not a fun schedule would be good. Hmmm.

I’ve got 2 more work days ahead and tomorrow I am going to keep myself very busy. There is a ton of stuff piled up on my desk that needs to be done and since I never want to go in on my days off tomorrow will be the day I start on the pile. Hopefully it will be done by Tuesday.

For the rest of today I’m just going to mull over this idea of scheduling out my blogs. Weigh the pros and cons and I’ll let you know soon what has been decided.

Caloric intake: 1,391 (didn’t realize this was so low until just now…)
Calories burned: none

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Day 86: Small Miracles

Today went by so quickly and you know I’m always thankful for a quick work day.

Exciting news! Word Press just informed me that I have a follower! Thank you so much! Go team Crazy Dame, we’re now a family of 6 rather than just me and my 4 imaginary friends.

Other good news, I did some writing today. I was spurred on by the though that if the awful book I read this week can get published there is no reason for me to think that something I have written isn’t at least worth submitting for consideration. I read through one piece I started working on last year, did some editing, and then the characters started talking to me again. I was able to get out an entire chapter in between phone calls and other work nonsense.

After lunch I worked on another piece that was started even earlier than the other, it’s more complex, so I have to really concentrate to get Annabelle (the heroine) to tell me where she wanted to go. I didn’t get a ton of work done on that one, but now that it’s fresh in my mind the car ride home was full of ideas that I know are going to make it super easy to sink back into it tomorrow and get some real work done.

As you know if you’ve made it this far with my on the blogging journey is that one of my goals was to have one of my novels finished by the end of the year and today was the first day this year that I’ve made any real progress toward that goal.

Thank the creative gods for blessing me today and to the muses for touching me while I was at work. I’m so excited about today’s progress that I almost can’t wait to get back to work tomorrow (dear god, am I running a fever) so I can continue where I left off. Just for clarification, I’m not excited to go to work, I’m excited because I’ll have access to a computer and have it all to myself for 12 hours. I really need to get a laptop, which is why I just took mine to my brother to see if he could figure out what the malfunction is, but of course one of the dogs destroyed the cord without my knowledge. Now I’ve got to take it to work with me tomorrow because we have the same brand of laptop, charge the dang thing, and then bring it home to see if Bub can indeed fix the problem. If not, I really need to start looking into getting a new one. Bleh.

Really hate spending money, but it would be much more beneficial to my writing if I had a way to write from home other than my phone. Not to mention the fact that the options for editing my blog are much more extensive from a computer. I guess I could always tell my family that what I want for my birthday, nope I’m not even going to finish that thought. I could never ask for something so pricey for a gift. Stuff like that makes me uncomfortable. Besides, I’ve already hinted at some concert tickets that I want, I’m seriously hoping someone gets them for me.

There was a full banana in my smoothie this morning and I didn’t vomit!!! Hooray for Chels! May not seem like a big deal, but bananas and I do not have a great history. The texture of them has always made me gag to the point that even when I tried them frozen just the taste brought back memories of the horrid texture and I started to gag. Yucky. But 2 days ago I added a half of a banana into my smoothie and didn’t die, so today I worked up the courage to just add in the entire thing. Small steps.

I’ve also discovered I like nectarines and I can tolerate pears, but I really need a firm one because once they start to ripen they get this gross mealy texture going on and ugh it makes them hard to eat. That is about as adventurous as I have gotten so far with my fruit exploration. The next fruit I was told to try, by someone who has the same aversion to weird textures, is halos, never had luck with citrus fruits, but neither has she and she actually likes halos. We shall see.

I still need to light distress my wonderful new table, stain the top, and the seal the whole thing, so don’t expect to see my post on that until maybe Wednesday. I may even borrow my sisters fancy camera and take so good photos of it set up in the house, but don’t cross your fingers.

Caloric intake: 2,107
Calories burned: nada

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Day 85: Deep (I should have known)

Last night I finished one of the books I bought, Deep by Skye Warren. I would have finished it sooner, but after starting it Tuesday night I had to set it aside after just a few chapters and I couldn’t bring myself to pick it back up until last night. I only did that because I hate an unfinished story, even if it a truly terrible story.

I’m just not even going to read the other one. The first was just so awful I could not subject myself to reading another book by the same person.

Let me start by saying I am by no means an editorial critic, but I am an avid reader, so I’m going to tell you about this terrible book and hope you don’t read it to see if I was wrong.

First the characters were so unlikable that I honestly was rooting for them to just die. The female lead was just a weepy confused mess of a person who had no idea how to freaking do anything. The writer kept trying to make you think this was a strong girl who had overcome obstacles, but she was just a whiny little bitch. Her everything circled around the fact that she didn’t “belong” in her family because she was adopted and her adoptive parents had a child of their own after she was born, somehow that made her whole world fall apart. I get that finding out that you’re adopted can be jarring, but this child, she was in the 4th grade if I’m not mistaken, immediately took that to mean she didn’t belong with them anymore and became a rebellious child.

Just to interject a little personal history of mine, when I was roughly the same age, if not a little younger, I found out that the person I thought was by birth father was in fact not my birth father. I was sad, but he had raised me as his own, so I understood that my father loved me and that was all that mattered to 10 year old Chelsea. I’ve lived the greater portion of my life knowing that my younger siblings had both of their parents, but guess what so did I. I didn’t start partying at 15, doing drugs, or staying out at clubs all night to try and get my parents attention. I will admit I’ve always had a little voice in the back of my head that’s told me that I was different than my siblings, but never have I treated them like they weren’t my family or sought attention from others because my mommy and daddy had other children.

I think that may have been the worst part of this book, you want your lead character to seem strong, stop making her act like like a petty child and keep forcing the phrase, “you’re the strongest woman I know,” down my throat when that’s certainly not freaking true.

Because the whiny girl has this sense of not belonging, she often repeats a phrase that was told to her during her elemterary school years, “This is where you come from. This is who you are.” Her inner monolgues are plagued with that exact statement and her feeling sorry for herself because she doesn’t know where she came from.

Moving on to the lead male, he’s just a very fucked up crime lord who wants to possess a girl he met when she was 15. He stalks this kid, follows her through her life from afar waiting to take her, and I mean take in the purest of fashion. When he finally comes to “claim” her, it means he snatches her from her life and tells her numerous times he has no intention of letting her ever leave. Not in the romantic sense of I can’t live without you by my side, he tells this dumb girl that he wants to keep her locked up away from everyone else because he doesn’t even want anyone else to look at her, he even actually does lock her up in his room at one point. When the hell did that become romantic? If someone said that to me I would back away slowly with a placating smile on my face and then run for my sister’s house because she’s armed to the teeth. To our “heroine”, I’m using that term sarcastically, this sounds wonderful, she’s only mildly disturbed by his profession because she’s so desperate to belong somewhere.

This is a girl who was going to college, living a normal, as normal as you can live when you’re equally obsessed with an obvious psychopath, and this man (he was already 30ish when they met, she was 15 at the time…so now he’s roughly 33ish and she’s 18 ish) comes into your home bleeding from a knife attack and you just dry hump him (not exaggerating) and then let him carry you away from your life. Again, I would be calling my sister to bring a few guns over while telling the bleeding man I had already called the police in the hopes he would leave, I’d call my sister first that crazy bitch doesn’t know what a speed limit is, she’d get here faster.

I just had to leaf back through the pages of the offending text, because I couldn’t even tell you what these two people looked like. I couldn’t remember their appearance and the sad thing is that she does nothing to flesh these people out. The only thing you know about Claire/Ella (the confused child our book is about) is that she has olive skin, dark hair, dark eyes, and smallish breasts…that’s it. Phillip’s appearance is even more elusive, I don’t even remember ever reading what color his stupid eyes were, you just know he’s big, strong, and has some kind of tattoo on his chest. Where did this new fad of making your characters faceless come from? I get that you want the reader to put themselves in the heroines place, but come the fuck on, at least give me a description of who I’m letting torture me. All of the characters throughout the book are only loosely described, you get like one characteristic per person. I suppose that’s why it’s written in the first person, she wants the reader to read as though they are Ella, but I can assure you Ella is the last freaking person on earth I want to ever be. Call me old fashioned, but I’d much rather read a love story about two people I can imagine in my mind eye’s because I’ve been given facial/body characteristics rather than try to pretend I’m a whiny little bitch getting screwed by a crazy man.

I didn’t feel like either of these characters had the depth the writer kept trying to make you think they had. I don’t even know what to do with these books now. I could burn them…I may be doing the world a service by taking at least one copy of these awful books out of the world…hmm not a bad idea.

The central conflict comes into play when she calls her parents to know she’s fine because the crazy persons she’s in love with held her at gun point  in a hostage situation to help him get away, she finds out her brother has been kidnapped and she now has to ask Phillip (psychopath millionaire/crime lord) to help her get him back. He agrees and then fucks her (his words) as a down payment because she’s now going to have to pay for her brothers freedom with her body. Ummmm, does that sound like a healthy relationship?

He tells her several times that she is his property and he is free to do whatever he wants to her whenever he wants. He ejaculates inside her without her permission and actually against her will at a couple of points, are we promoting a new form of rape now? Why in the hell would a man telling you that he was going to make you “round with his seed,” be something you wanted to hear? More over what kind of message does that send, hey guys it’s  romantic when you don’t use a condom even though a girl asks you too, she really just wants you to knock her up she’s just playing hard to get? What the hell?

After saving her brother, fucking her in a tunnel, even though she clearly says no, he leaves her and honestly that was the best part of the book. I felt relief for a brief moment because the crazy asshole may actually leave her alone. But then we get a scene of the girl being upset because she wasn’t pregnant with his child, she actually cried when he refused to ejaculate inside her during their tunnel session. She wanted to be pregnant because she figured that he would come back for her if she was carrying his child.

Now that I think about it, most of their sexual encounters were very one sided. Of course he made sure that she got hers, but she never once actively participates in their interludes. The last scene of the book she kisses his chest for the first time, you know it’s the first time because she tells you so. Yet another example of this “strong” woman just letting him use and abuse her body, by the time this scene comes around she’s already pregnant and they’ve been back together for weeks if not months.

Lucky for her he comes back even though she’s not carrying his child, by the time I reached this part of the book I had rolled my eyes so many time my head was hurting. He comes back and professes that he has missed her while he was away and like the stupid, equally crazy bitch that she is she takes him back and they once again leave her entire life behind.

Apart from the convoluted plot the book was so choppy it was hard to follow. The characters would be having a conversation and then all of a sudden before anything definitive had been said it would just jump to the waking up the next day. It kept interweaving small things throughout the story that could have been established at the beginning, so they wouldn’t have to pop up at times that just didn’t make sense. It made me a bit nastalogic for this writing thing my friends and I use to do, we would develop our own character and then write their dialogue, lifes, and demise. We had these spirals that were constantly being passed back and forth so our characters could interact. When you tried to read it back as a whole text it became choppy because when someone was tired of writing they would just have their character go to sleep. Once I made mine drop dead just because I was bored.

Let me just reiterate, please whatever you do, do not read this terrible book. I mean unless you into that sort of total domination, no judgments here (totally judging) stay far away from this drivel.

Wow…I really hated this book. Oh man…I think I hate it even more because this woman is a New York Times Bestselling Author. She had some good moments, there were a few lines that made me go, oh that’s a great line, but it just made the rest of the terrible writing glaringly obvious.

If you have a book you’d like me to read and review just let me know below in the comments.

Caloric intake: 1,658
Calories burned: zilch

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Day 84: Fuck

Well this just happened.


I was working on my table, turning it on my saw horses and fuck everything went wrong. The saw horses tipped, the table fell, and the paint can hit the floor. Of course I let a string of very loud expletives while trying to heave the 80 lbs table back into place without hurting myself or causing damage. The only damage was to my state of mind.

I guess it was the universe’s way of telling me it was time to call it a night.

Tomorrow is my last day off and I still have have a few things I need to get accomplished. I have to finish painting the table, make sure my laundry is all washed, and prep my lunches for work. I probably also need to go ahead and make another short trip tog the grocery store to restock on my fruit.

It’s been a day folks. Peace

Caloric intake: 1,498
Calories burned: 1,690

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!