Day 130: Level

Hello wild ones! Hopefully your Monday wasn’t an absolute bore.

Today was my Friday and I felt completely like myself again and I think I can safely say that I am typically a happyish person. These past few days have been dark and dreary, but my inner sunshine overcame the clouds. I really am not a fan of the dark thoughts that plagued me these past few days, though I’m sure that everyone who suffers from depression doesn’t like the way it feels…

I opened up to my sister about how I’ve been feeling and of course she replied, “why didn’t you call me?” It never ceases to amaze me that my sister can be so caring and sympathetic. I tried explaining that I didn’t want to be around anyone while I was feeling like that because I didn’t understand what was going on. She shook her head and said next time call. My brother in law said the same, “at least you would have a shoulder to cry on.” Those two are good eggs.

I couldn’t out into words how confused I was by this ordeal. Maybe there is no explanation, but I’d still like one. Was I just burnt out? Tired? Hormonal? I hated not feeling like myself. Everything was such a chore. Breathing felt cumbersome. I’m trying not to dwell, but how can I prevent if I don’t even know what caused the change?

I may never get my answers, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop asking questions. I’m glad everything leveled back out and I really, really, really hope I stay this way.
Now that the funk has been banished we have a million things to get back too. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so let’s get our sleep and greet the day head on.

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!
Chels

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