Day 172: Fucked Up

Hello wild ones. I messed up. I seriously just looked up at the clock and realized that it was already almost 2 am and then realized that I had not posted. Now I’m crying.

I feel like an idiot. And a failure. This was the one and only resolution I had kept up with religiously for the past 6 months and with the careless snap of my own fucking fingers I just undid all my progress. I could give you excuses, you know that several times now I’ve said that the change in my schedule has me all messed up, but the truth is that should not have mattered. When something matters you make time. I did not make time for you on this night.

Instead of watching the clock and making sure I fulfilled my obligations to you and myself I’ve been working, watching movies, and putting together a planner for my mother. Now I’m posting this 2 hours late, which puts me a day behind. Now I’m going to finish my mother’s planner, sit here wallowing in my self misery and self hatred until it’s time for me to go home. I truly am sorry. It would be easy now to just put all this mess behind me and go about my life the way I did before I decided to blog everyday, but I’m not going to do that. To leave behind this one goal would mean that the last 6 months meant nothing.

I will work harder to ensure that I post every day on time. I will not disappoint myself again.

Until later today, stay wonderfully wild!

Chels

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3 thoughts on “Day 172: Fucked Up

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