Day 214: Reconciliation

Hello wild ones! I slept today! My body allowed me to sleep for more than just a couple of hours. Hip Hip Hooray. I still had to wake up every 2.5 hours, but my body did not demand that I stay away.

I think it has something to do with the talk that we had last night. This is going to sound ultra crazy, but I had an entire conversation with myself about my awful period. It started with me berating my body for deciding to start menstruating on the one weekend I had plans to go to the river. Complaining about my body ruining my weekend, but then I realized that it could have been worse. My body could have waited, like I was asking, until I had been back at work tonight and then I would have been even more miserable.

Having to be at work while dealing with my ultra heavy flow and the terrible cramps would have been awful, so I quickly changed my tune and thanked my body for knowing to start when at least I didn’t have to be around other people. It let me go out Friday night too, so it’s not like my entire weekend came crashing to a halt because it was time for my menses.

So I thanked my body for waiting and asked that maybe it tried to schedule out the next few periods the same way. This turn in my thinking also made me realize that I was being super ungrateful during my pity party yesterday morning. I complained about having to deal with everyday life while bleeding to death. Throwing my very own period pity party just because I had to brave HEB to get supplies. When I should have been thanking my lucky stars that I am one of the women in the world that gets to deal with my period with such ease.

I started thinking about all the women in the world that can’t just load up in their car and drive the couple of miles to the nearest grocery store and buy feminine hygiene products. There are women in the world who don’t have access to feminine hygiene products at all, so I should be grateful that I am one that does.

As I often do I went a little far and started heavily berating myself for being such a whiny bitch when they’re are people out there who have it much worse. Then stopped again because just because there is someone out there who may not have it as good as me does not mean that every once in a while I can’t give myself leeway to feel a little ungrateful. It wouldn’t be fair to never let myself complain about anything just because there is someone out there who has it worse.

This is one of those times where I am going to allow myself to feel as bad as I want. It’s my stupid period and my hormones are making it impossible to do certain things, so I am going to give myself a pass to be a little angry that I have to deal with the crime scene in my pants and go on with my normal life like I don’t want to just lay down and die (dramatic I know).

However, I am going to seriously consider my next pity party before I send out invitations. I don’t often feel sorry for myself, but in those times that I do I am going to ask myself if it could be worse (which it obviously could be) before I throw my fits. I am very grateful for the life that I have and I don’t say it enough. I am grateful for the body that I have, because while it may not be my ideal, all of my body parts work correctly and nothing is missing. I am super grateful that I got some really good sleep today.

None of this means that having a period doesn’t still suck ass, because it fucking does. I’m hoping that mine is starting to wrap up because I am back at work tonight and for the next 4 nights. I would love to not have to deal with my period while also dealing with the jackasses at work.

Okay, I’m getting hungry, so I am going to wrap this up. If you’re currently dealing with your bitch of a period be strong sister and tell me what are you grateful for?

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Chels 

 

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