Cheesy Ass Lines

Hello wild ones and welcome to yet another Hump Day Book Review. I hope your week is going well thus far. Mine hasn’t been great, but that’s mostly because I’m at work and my job is super stressful, but enough of that, let’s get to the cheese fest!

Changing Lines (Harrisburg Railers Hockey Book 1) by [Scott, RJ, Locey, V.L.]

I’m not kidding, this book is kind of an over the top cheesy, mushy mess, and not in the good way. I had such high hopes for this book! I mean, hot, sweaty, sexy ass hockey players gettin their man lovin on, doesn’t that sound like the greatest thing ever? It did to me, so I purchased the book after reading the sample pages and immediately regretted that decision.

First, let’s meet our 2 hot hockey players (well one isn’t really a player anymore, he’s a coach, but it counts in my book). Tennant Rowe, a young and up and coming player who’s just been picked up by a little starter team that neither of his hockey playing brothers approve of. Young Tennant is just searching for his place in the world of hockey, and living his life in the closet. Jared Madsen is a coach for said little starter team and an old family friend, old being the operative word here, he’s the same age as Tennant’s eldest brother, Brady, a fact that Mads has a hard time getting over. Unlike Tennant, Mads is kind of out, in the way that everyone knows he’s bisexual, what they don’t know is as soon as these 2 see each other again sparks fly.

It’s obviously insta-lust for the both of them, but we get some bullshit back and forth because Jared thinks he’s too old for Tennant, not to mention the fact that Tennant isn’t out…to anyone, and that he’s a coach on his new hockey team. Honestly, they could have drug out the will they, won’t they thing a little longer for me instead of the route they went. Which was to make us think they just couldn’t fight their feelings, but Mads put some “slow’ policy in, so that instead of a will they, won’t they back and forth fraught with delicious tension, we get a whiny Tennant who is tired of them barely kissing and exchanging heated glances. I wish the anticipation had bubbled a little more. I’m all about the tension and when the dam finally breaks and our 2 main characters can’t keep their hands off each other. We do get a scene similar in fashion, but it starts with a frustrated Tennant stalking off to find Jared and accost him because he’s keyed up on Mountain Dew and tired of not getting to touch Mads.

We get a frottage scene and then Jared pumps the breaks again and tells Tenannt they won’t be having sex anytime soon. So then it goes another month of just heavy petting, stolen glances, and hot make out sessions, that we don’t get to actually see. We just get to hear Tennant bitch about them. Honestly, I wanted Jared to fuck him just so he would shut the hell up.

From there things progress a little faster. Tennant comes out to his parents, and then his brothers because Brady walks in on the two of them right after some hanky panky. Blah, blah, blah. The only drama, if you can even call it that, comes from Ryker’s (Jared’s son he had at a very young age…like teenage young) grandfather. He’s a douche nozzle, but other than him trying to control Ryker and Jared there’s not much else in the way of drama.

You get some fear from both men about what will happen if anyone finds out they’re together, but even that dissipates into a pile of nothing when they do get outed to the team and no one gives a fuck.

Okay, so this book wasn’t great, it wasn’t ridiculous terribly, but it wasn’t great…I don’t even know if I would call it good. It was passable…once I got passed the shit in chapter 3 that made me feel like I had been had. I’m not gonna lie and tell you that the first 2 chapters were literary masterpieces, because they so weren’t, but when I hit chapter 3 it was almost like I was reading a different book. The entire interaction between Tennant and his goalie, Stan, was odd and disjointed. Literally felt like I was reading a foreign language. It was so bad, I put the book down and had to take a break from reading the damn thing, like a 2 day break before I could pick it back up again and finish reading it. I probably would not have if I hadn’t already named it the book for this week.

There were things added to this book, I’m assuming to pad the pages, that seemed very strange to me. The whole Pokemon thing…I mean I get that right now Pokemon are all the rage, but I really just didn’t understand why it was important that Tennant had started a team or whatever with his fellow hockey players. I didn’t buy a damn book about hot, rugged, hot, (yes I’m aware I said hot twice, sue me…I find hockey to be very sexy) hockey players to read about them playing Pokemon.

This book was heavy on the cheese. “Why don’t we just see where our passion takes us?” Direct quote, I shit you not, that made me laugh out loud because it was so over the top cheesy I nearly got constipation from reading. Sooooooooo many more cheesy lines that if I tried to go back and find more I’d end up writing an entire book about this book.

The only other thing I wasn’t a fan of was the hockey cliches that were portrayed in this book. I’ve read a few different hockey player books at this point (like I mentioned earlier, I think hockey is hot) and while I am no freaking expert on the sport I have become a little better and noticing the cliches. Goalies are weird, check. D-Men have crazy tempers, check. Everyone is super macho, check. Everyone seems to be fueled by testosterone, check. It was just kind of over the top. For example, Brady, Tennant’s brother, is greeted at the door by his shirtless brother in Jared’s apartment and the first thing he does when Jared comes into the room is attack him. Ummm…now I don’t know how many of you have ever hung at a friends place over night, but the scene could have been super innocent. It’s not like they were locked in a lover’s (god I hate that word and this is yet another book that over uses it) or anything sinister. I just thought it was way OTT to have Brady come in swinging without asking questions.

If you’re looking for a cheese fest with limited steam (in my opinion) maybe this one is for you. I give this one 3 Hump Day stars, I’m being a tad generous here, but that’s only because the cheese made me laugh and I desperately needed a laugh this week. Not to mention that this was the book that broke my no book funk.

On to the next one! Trust with a Chaser by Annabeth Albert is up next.

Trust with a Chaser (Rainbow Cove Book 1) by [Albert, Annabeth]

One hot cop. One bar owner out for redemption. One smoking-hot summer fling destined to leave scorch marks…

Mason Hanks has returned to Rainbow Cove, Oregon with one goal in mind: turn the struggling coastal community into a thriving LGBTQ tourism destination. Step one is transforming an old bar and grill into a gay-friendly eatery. Step two? Don’t piss off Nash Flint, the very hot, very stern chief of police who’s not so sure he’s on board with Mason’s big plans. 

Nash Flint just wants to keep his community safe and enjoy the occasional burger in peace. He’s not big on change nor is he a fan of Mason’s troublemaking family, especially his rowdy older brothers. But Mason slowly wins him over with fantastic cooking and the sort of friendship Nash has been starving for.

When their unlikely friendship takes a turn for the sexy, both men try to steer clear of trouble. Nash believes he’s too set in his ways for Mason, and Mason worries that his family’s reputation will ruin any future with Nash. Burning up the sheets in secret is a surefire way to crash and burn, and discovery forces a heart-wrenching decision—is love worth the risk of losing everything?

Make sure you come back next week to check out my Hump Day Book Review! In the mean time, go find me on Instagram to do a little stalking, check out my Goodreads profile to see what else I’m reading this week, and if you’re on snap chat follow me @crazydame90 to keep up with my crazy antics. Night kids!!

Until later, stay wonderfully wild!

Chels

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