Memory Scrub

Hello wild ones! I’m thinking maybe Thursday is going to be book talk day, and by book talk I mean not exactly a review, just me talking about books. Ugh, buckle up for today because I’ve got a rant bubbling up that I’m convinced will make my head explode if I don’t get it all out. So, you’ve been forewarned. Continue at your own risk.

Have you ever read something that just kept making you ask, “What the fuck?” Have I started a rant like this already? I feel like maybe I have…oh well. Last night I was trolling around Goodreads looking for something new to read and I stumbled across Step Beast by Selena Kitt and since I’ve enjoyed the step-brother taboo in the past I thought, why the hell not? I wasn’t exactly looking for anything to expand my mind, just looking to waste the couple of hours I had left at work.

This is a book I wish I had never met. I hate saying that. Even when I don’t like a book I look for some kind of redeeming quality, something I liked about the book so I don’t feel like I wasted my time for no reason. This book was a waste of my time. I should have just gone with my gut when it started protesting the damn book around the 10% mark. Hindsight people. In the future I will listen to my book gut, I promise.

First thing I hated, yes hated- not disliked, hated – was that our leading “lady” (I use that term loosely here) who is nothing more than an idiotic, manipulative, spoiled brat, who makes absolutely no personal growth. I can usually look past the cliche spoiled rich girl thing. I can even sometimes get over the lead being an idiot, most of the time that bothers me more than anything else though. But when you also make that idiot a manipulative girl child it just makes me hate her.

Tilly is a 22 year old, college graduate who still lives at home, lets her mother call all the shots in her sheltered little life, and whines constantly about that fact but does nothing to fix her life. Hey Tilly, if you’re unhappy at home where your mother controls everything, move the fuck out. You have a college degree, go get a freaking job, save your money because obviously your mother just provides everything for you, and then put some big girl panties on and find a place of your own. What I didn’t understand about this girl is how she can be so manipulative to get what she wants when it’s her step brother, but somehow can’t formulate a plan to move out on her own. Like she makes plans, not smart plans granted, to trick him into spending time with her, but can’t use that brain power to fix her fucked up life.

The author does a lot of work trying to make Tilly sound intelligent and maybe if the same girl who waxed on and on about the deeper meaning behind the film Girl with the Pearl Earring was not the same girl who agreed to become a submissive at a club just to trick her step-brother into having to be her dom, I would think she was an intelligent young woman. Alas, it just made me dislike her more. When you show that your main character is capable of deeper thought she should also have the depth within herself to see that what she is doing is stupid. Ugh, I seriously might spend this entire blog post just complaining about her, because she does some crazy crap in this book.

She straight up rapes her step-brother, not even kidding or trying to be funny. He’s in the middle of having some kind of dream about her, she comes into his room because he’s saying her name in his sleep, thrashing around on his bed naked, fully erect. Because he’s naked and erect she just decides that since he’s groaning her name it’s a good idea to just mount him and start having sex with him. I’m sorry, I’ve read some fucked up shit, but this just takes the cake thus far. Of course our hero wakes up fairly quickly and the whole thing ends consensual enough, but I could not get over her just mounting him. Probably due to the fact that a few hours prior to her raping him in his sleep he kissed her in the pool and then in no uncertain terms told her that they could not be together again. I’m sure that you could argue that since they have a previously sexual relationship (5 years ago) that it’s a little less skivvy, but it just made me angry. Also, if the roles were reversed people would be up in arms about a guy doing that to a girl.

Good grief, this is just making me pissy again. Maybe I would have hated her and this book less if she had any kind of emotional growth or breakthrough, but we’ll never know because Tilly never changes. Which makes one of the big reveals, which totally was not a big reveal at all, completely lack luster. Spoiler alert! Her previous affair with her step brother resulted in her getting pregnant. Her mother makes her hide away, have the baby, and then she gives the baby up. Only we find out that Miles, Tilly’s cousin is actually her son. Woooooo, not a big shock at all… however what was shocking is that my suspicions were confirmed that Tilly was a mother, which only made me dislike her even more. Here is a young woman who gets pregnant, is basically forced to give up her son, and then she goes back to living her life like nothing happened. Ummmm, hello bitch, if you were really that upset about your mother making you give up the baby why didn’t you tell anyone?! Her best friend doesn’t even know that she gave birth. And I know that they give us some bull shit excuse about her mother telling her that if anyone found out her step-brother had impregnated her he would be in trouble because he was 21 and she was 17, but seriously how can one person be so damn dumb. More than that, I couldn’t understand how that whole ordeal wasn’t enough to make her more focused on her life. Sure, she goes to college, but then she moves right back into her mother’s house instead of living her own life and she just lays around her mother’s house doing nothing all damn day but complaining that her mother wouldn’t let her have a dog. Whoa, why aren’t you more upset that she made you give up your kid? I swear we hear more about the damn dog that she wants than the fact that her mother took her son away.

I just really hate her and I’m not even sorry about it. Literally the only thing she cared about through this whole damn book was getting back with her step-brother. She was a whiny, spoiled, bratty, bitch who I want to cunt punch.

Moving on from her, let’s briefly touch on Beast, the step-brother. Firstly, what the hell kind of idiot wants to be known as Beast? I get that he doesn’t like his given name because it’s “cursed” or some dumb bullshit, but seriously making everyone call you Beast is just dumb as hell. Can you imagine walking into a job interview and introducing yourself as Beast? It sounds like something a frat boy came up with. Secondly, his character was super inconsistent. One minute he was pushing Tilly away with excessive force, literally pushes her off of him and onto the floor after the rape scene, and then he was pulling her back to him. I’m not a fan of wishy washy alphas, I want my men to know what they want and not change their damn minds. And then we get moments where he’s playful, which confused the hell out of me because he’s supposed to be some tortured soul. Umm, when’s the last time you saw a tortured soul agree to go skinny dipping and then play around in the pool with two girls he was just bitching out? I guess it could be argued that he just wanted to see them naked, but it just didn’t gel for me.

And now we come to her mother, who was just a completely useless character; only put in the damn book to drive the plot (what there was of it) forward. Her mother is dying, she has freaking cancer, but instead of staying at home with her sick mother Tilly is off gallivanting at sex clubs, getting drunk with her best friend, and doing other dumb shit to get Beast’s attention. We don’t even really get to see her much, we hear her in Tilly’s head and then we get this long ass letter after she dies, but honestly she gets very little screen time. I guess because we’re supposed to dislike her for controlling Tilly so much it wouldn’ matter that her daughter obviously didn’t really give a shit that she was dying. Her mother is rushed to the hospital at one point and instead of staying in the hospital with her she leaves to follow Beast because she doesn’t want to be alone with her aunt after she drops the Miles bomb. Who the hell does that? I get that her mother was kind of shitty, but seriously she’s dying and you want to just leave her alone.

This book was boring, aside from the seething anger over Tilly’s shit, I got bored reading it. Even when I skimmed stuff instead of in depth reading I was still bored. And then all of a sudden you’re hit with a bunch of shit all at once.

Major spoilers here.

Bam, mother passes out on the couch and everyone starts to freak.

BAM, minutes later Miles is nearly drowning in the pool and then her Aunt Meg says some nasty shit to so we find out that Tilly is Miles’ mother, therefore Beast is his father.

BAM! Her mother faints in the house and has to be rushed to the ER where they find out her cancer has progressed and now she only has weeks to live.

BAM BAM! Tilly gets a voicemail from her best friend that sounds like she’s in trouble.

BAM BAM BAM! Tilly gets kidnapped by besties’ boyfriend (because she is a fucking idiot who can’t ever just follow simple instructions), who is actually in the sex trafficking business.

BAM BAM BAM BAM! We find out that Beast knew all along and Tilly thinks he betrayed her, so she’s gotta try and save herself. She makes a half assed attempt and then ruins her bad ass escape by screaming like a child because she sees a rat.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM! Beast tells her he’s working with the authorities to bring down the sex trafficking ring, so she needs to calm her tits and play along.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM! Tilly nearly gets killed, but they get away. The good guys prevail, she and Beast go have sex at his place and spill all their secrets.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM! Her mother reveals that she wants Tilly to raise her son with Beast, she gives all her money and her company to Beast, and then the bitch dies.

No freaking joke, all of that shit (with the exception of her mother’s death) goes down within a 24 hour period. I think her mother dies the next day, but still. We just get slapped in the face with a bunch of crap all at once. This is also the time the author tries to make you think that Tilly has some personal growth because she thinks Beast betrayed her and she decides it’s time to save herself. Even that ten minute period was not enough to redeem this dumb hoe in my eyes because it lasts for all of five minutes before she becomes a whiny little brat again.

Okay, I think I got all of that out…hopefully anyway because I want to erase this damn book from my memory. Actually I’ll just say one more thing, I wanted Tilly to get punched.  I was actually upset that this bitch got a happy ending. Bleh. Now it’s all out.

Now, I’m going to go find a book to read for tonight that will hopefully help me start forgetting about this shit. Night!

Until tomorrow, stay wonderfully wild!

Chels